Alone in a Crowd
by Hayama 4
Summary: Erts' thoughts and guilt after Ernest dies. Why does he feel guilty? Read and find out.


Disclaimer: I (sadly) do not own Erts or any of the MK characters. Yukiru Sugisaki and some companies do. I just borrow them for fanfics. :)

Author's note: It jumps around a little but it's supposed to be Erts' thoughts and thoughts jump :)

Alone in the Crowd

I knew you had died long before they told me.

I could always tell when you were fighting, I could feel it. Usually I was alone and whenever I sensed you were in battle I would focus myself on that. I would quietly share your pain and triumph from afar. I told myself it was preparation for the day I would become pilot but... nii-san... Ernest... I was worried about you.

Every battle made me nervous. But if I focused on it with you... somehow that made me feel like it would turn out okay... that you would win and the victim would lose and you would come back. And I told myself that someday you would be done fighting the victim and I could stop worrying.

And sometimes I thought that maybe another telepath would join GOA... a telepath much stronger than me. Someone who wanted to fight. Someone who wasn't scared at all. Someone else. Someone else.

And then... we could both go home. Things could go back to the way they were before you left for GOA... before we knew about our powers... before we were telepaths... before we were apart.

I wonder if you knew I missed you. I cried when you left. You could say that's because I was a little kid and kids always cry, but that would be wrong.

I cried because... because you were my nii-san and you were going somewhere you didn't want to go. I knew you didn't want to go. I knew. You were being sent away because you could feel what others felt. You were being punished and you shouldn't have been.

When I found out that I had the same power I was... I was scared. I didn't want to be ridiculed and avoided. I didn't want people to be scared of me. I didn't want to go to GOA. But... nii-san... I knew that if I went... we wouldn't be so far apart. That's why I didn't fight it.

At first I was alone. Thousands of people jammed on a ship and I was alone. No one would talk to me. No one would come near. I could understand why. They didn't want their minds read. Thoughts are private things.

But Zero wasn't scared at all. He was so happy to meet me. At first I figured it was just because I held a high rank and we were battle simulation partners. He wanted to get ahead.

It's true that Zero wants to be a pilot as quickly as he can, but he was genuinely nice to me. He wasn't afraid of me or the telepathy. I warned him... told him others were afraid but he... he just grinned. He really is fearless... sincere and kind. My first friend.

He challenged me to a fencing match. I knew you were in battle, but I couldn't disappoint him. I decided, just this once, I would ignore your battle and focus on my own.

I didn't feel the anticipation, the frustration, the worry, the fear, the pain... I blocked you from my mind and focused selfishly on my own little game. I couldn't hear your cries... I couldn't feel your pain... I was focused elsewhere but before I knew it...

All I heard was silence.

All I felt was emptiness.

You were gone.

I feel like it's my fault. The one time I didn't worry about you. The one time I ignored you. The one time... was the last time.

That day... they never actually said 'your brother died.'

When I felt your death I froze... I couldn't speak... could barely move... Zero was worried... he was actually worried about me. He sat me down and asked me over and over what was wrong. After a while I calmed down a little. I told him I was okay... I lied.

The instructor walked in. He never said 'your brother died." He told me I was a pilot. It didn't matter who the former pilot was or why I was the replacement. All that mattered what that someone filled the position. The victim wouldn't pause to mourn. The victim wouldn't stop just because you died. GOA wouldn't stop either.

So now I'm a pilot. I'm a pilot and nii-san... I'm scared. Your friends are kind and the goddess is beautiful but I'm scared. You aren't there... I'm alone.

I'm alone, but...I'll try my best nii-san. I'll use the power people fear me for to protect your friends. I owe you that. I'll fight the victim in your place. I promise I'll try. Nii-san I promise.

The End

incase you don't know... 'nii-san' means older brother


End file.
